We Do Make Assumptions!
A redneck walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs
of Budweiser and sits in the back of the room, drinking
a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them,
he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a
mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if
you bought one at a time."
The redneck replies, "Well, you see, I have two
brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin,
and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised
that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank
So I drink one for each o'my brothers and one for
myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice
custom, and leaves it there.
The redneck becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks
them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the
regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes
back to the bar for the second round, the bartender
says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I
wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The redneck looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a
light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just
fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife had us join
that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't
affected my brothers though."
I love a joke that comes at you sideways with a lesson
attached. How many times do we end up with our foot in
our mouth because we "assumed" something only to find
we were completely wrong?
When they are jokes they can be funny. But what about
some assumptions in life?
In my youth and early twenties and thirties I assumed
that life would go on like it was forever.
That is to say I knew there were deeper meanings to
life and I was searching, all over the world, in fact.
Yet I was overlooking something. I assumed what I was
looking for would be some outside thing I had to go
find. I was assuming my way into the wrong conclusions
and away from that for which I searched.
We all do that. I meet people every day who have no
interest in what life is about, or worse, have made up
their minds that life is this money grabbing thing all
of us do.
That assumption catches up to one on their death bed.
It makes us like the frivolous children who would not
help their mother gather all the things for the pie, or
work with her to bake the pie, or do anything except
take. Then, when there is nothing else for us to do we
expect to be able to eat the pie. What an uproar when
mom says no.
You see, if you don't do your looking, asking, seeking
when you have a chance and furthermore when you are
warned then you miss the ark. Laugh if you wish but
each has his time.
You can assume your way through life only to miss the
boat when it sails. You will be standing on shore
waving good-bye to those wiser souls who took the time
to search, ask and knock.
We Do Make Assumptions!
Internationally syndicated columnist, Ken Darby authors many
articles found in newspapers and magazines throughout North
America. He is the author of
The Saga Of Pinehill, The Adventure,
ISBN 1-4137-4723-X a thrilling adventure filled with life's lessons,
and available through your favorite bookstore or
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