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The European Union commissioners have announced that
agreement has been reached to adopt English as the
preferred language for European communications, rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft
"c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with
joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only
will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one
There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This
will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the
languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
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